What do Hannah Montana, Beyoncé, and The Incredibles have in common?
And how it can help you overcome your fear
I was obsessed with Hannah Montana - the series about how an ordinary teenage girl has a “secret life” as a superstar - as a kid. Not only because I loved the soundtracks (“Best of both worlds” is still my jam), but I was intrigued by the fact that one can become a pop star by putting on a wig. Whenever I felt too shy to audition for the school’s music club, I wished I had Hannah Montana’s magical wig.
Fast forward 15 years later, I came across an Oprah interview with Beyoncé, where Beyoncé said she would create a different version of herself on stage - Sasha Fierce. Sasha would come out just when Beyoncé heard the crowd, and replace Beyoncé’ nervousness with her confidence. Sasha is fun, sexy, fashionable, and of course, fierce. Those personalities also translated into her sharp body movements and bold energy.
Instead of putting on a wig like Hannah Montana, Beyoncé put on a completely different “person” to deal with anxiety when performing. That was when I first learned the meaning of an alter ego.
According to Merriam-Webster, “alter ego” means “a different version of yourself.” Alter ego exists in many scenarios:
The Incredibles are ordinary people, who become superhumans when they put on their suits
Criminals with different personalities
Even I have alter egos when I am at work, with friends, and by myself
But I have never considered deliberately creating an alter ego to overcome my fear as Beyoncé did. So, as a curious Psychology student, I gave it a try. I created “Libo” (short for Linh the Boss…I might have tried too hard at naming)
Creating an “alter ego” of myself
A part of my job requires me to present in front of 50+ people, bi-weekly. These presentations always stress me out, and I would feel the tension for a whole week, leading up to the day. I set Libo up for these presentations in 3 steps:
1. Think about the personality, actions, and appearances:
Libo is confident and eloquent, and no questions can make her nervous. Her wisdom translates into her words so well that everyone takes time to listen, nod, and approve.
She will sit straight, and know how to draw people’s attention. She is confident but not dry. She will make jokes in her presentation.
2. Decide on a time when my “alter ego” needs to come out:
This is like a shotgun to tell runners that the race has started. The shotgun moment for me is about an hour before the presentation, when the palms of my hands begin to sweat, and my heart pounds faster.
This is it. Libo would take her cup of tea, sit at the table, and revise her presentation slides. She is getting ready to roll.
3. Practice, practice, practice
The first time Libo came on, it took a lot of work to be in the right mindset. But as “practice makes perfect,” I get more comfortable letting Libo take over, and she gets better and better each time.
After around 2 months, magically, I did not feel nervous anymore when presentation time came around. I built, envisioned, and practiced her so well that I became her.
Why “alter ego” can help you overcome your fears?
1. Self-distancing
When you create an “alter ego” to do something, you are actually “self-distancing” yourself. Ethan Kross, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, has led research on “self-distancing,” and demonstrated that a change in perspective can help people gain control of their emotions.
In one research, participants were asked to think about a past negative (involved anger, sadness, disappointment, etc.) experience. Then they were split into 2 groups: one put themselves again in that situation; the other thought about it as a different entity, as if they were watching the situation instead of being in it.
Results show that, as a short-term effect, people who viewed it as a different entity experienced a lower level of negative emotions
2. “Do the thing and you will have the power” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I can’t wait until I am confident enough to start presenting. It must be the opposite. I have to do it, and the fear will go away.
Libo helps me get in that spirit to push my emotion aside, as the experiment above indicates. But she goes one step further: she allows me to envision the “end goal” - the person I want to be when I present: confident, eloquent, and knowledgeable. It creates not just a push, but the momentum to practice, and a journey I can work towards.
If you have a fear to overcome, maybe it is time to bring out “the Boss” in you. Let me know in the comments if you are creating an alter ego for yourself, and if it helps you!
This is a perfect example of "Fake it until you make it". Love this post!